Unquietly Me

 

LOOKING FOR GROUP

By: Alexis Hall

Release Date: August 29, 2016

Publisher: Riptide

 

BLURB:

So, yeah, I play Heroes of Legend, y’know, the MMO. I’m not like obsessed or addicted or anything. It’s just a game. Anyway, there was this girl in my guild who I really liked because she was funny and nerdy and a great healer. Of course, my mates thought it was hilarious I was into someone I’d met online. And they thought it was even more hilarious when she turned out to be a boy IRL. But the joke’s on them because I still really like him.

And now that we’re together, it’s going pretty well. Except sometimes I think Kit—that’s his name, sorry I didn’t mention that—spends way too much time in HoL.  I know he has friends in the guild, but he has me now, and my friends, and everyone knows people you meet online aren’t real. I mean. Not Kit. Kit’s real. Obviously.

Oh, I’m Drew, by the way. This is sort of my story. About how I messed up some stuff and figured out some stuff. And fell in love and stuff.

 

ABOUT ALEXIS HALL:

Alexis Hall was born in the early 1980s and still thinks the 21st century is the future. To this day, he feels cheated that he lived through a fin de siècle but inexplicably failed to drink a single glass of absinthe, dance with a single courtesan, or stay in a single garret.

He did the Oxbridge thing sometime in the 2000s and failed to learn anything of substance. He has had many jobs, including ice cream maker, fortune teller, lab technician, and professional gambler. He was fired from most of them.

He can neither cook nor sing, but he can handle a 17th century smallsword, punts from the proper end, and knows how to hotwire a car.

He lives in southeast England, with no cats and no children, and fully intends to keep it that way.

 

CONNECT WITH ALEXIS:

Website: quicunquevult.com

Blog: quicunquevult.com/blog

Twitter: @quicunquevult

Goodreads: goodreads.com/alexishall

 

GIVEAWAY:

To celebrate the release of Looking for Group, one lucky winner will receive their choice of 3 ebooks from Alexis Hall’s backlist. Leave a comment with your contact info to enter the contest. Entries close at midnight, Eastern time, on September 3, 2016. Contest is NOT restricted to U.S. entries. Thanks for following the tour, and don’t forget to leave your contact info!

 

EXCERPT:

Chapter One

<Same Crit Different Day> is Recruiting

SCDD is a tight-knit raiding guild (heroic and normal difficulty), currently looking for a main tank to join our mature, dedicated, and frankly fabulous team. Founded in 2011 by a group of friends with no fecking clue how to run a Heroes of Legend guild, but definite ideas about the right way to treat people—fairly, without harassment, and with equal opportunity to participate—SCDD roared past the traditional guild life expectancy of six months and has been getting awesomer ever since.

As a guild, we want . . .

…to have fun ffs

…to have a friendly community where everyone is treated with respect and fairness

…to be damn good at what we do

…to maintain our server-wide reputation for kindness, courtesy, and good old-fashioned arse kicking.

We promise . . .

…to organise and fill raids in an equitable and timely manner

…to recruit people, not specs, while also being sensible about guild and raid balance

…to have fair, transparent loot policies.

In return, we expect . . .

…a team-based approach to the game: When you have to make a choice, think of how it benefits the team, not only when it comes to loot and items, but also when it comes to your actions and attitude.

…a mature approach to the guild: Communicate, be honest, and be excellent to one another.

…your best damn behaviour: We’re here to succeed and to have fun, not to put up with rudeness, bigotry, or other asshattery. This is not about political correctness gone mad. This is not about nobody having a sense of humour. This is not about censorship. This reflects the fact that our guild encompasses a diverse range of people, and being a dick isn’t big, cool, or clever. And if you want to call me a carebear for that, then I don’t give a damn.

* * * * *

Application: Orcarella (Dread Knight tank)

Name (optional): Drew

Tell us a bit about yourself: Just an ordinary guy, 19 yo, currently doing game art design (lol) at uni. I like doing ordinary shit, hanging out with mates, playing games, whatever.

Character Name: Orcarella

Character Race / Class: Orc, Dread Knight

Primary Spec: Vengeance (Tanking)

Secondary Spec: Dishonour (DPS / PVP)

Which professions do you have: Metal Working & Gem Crafting

What was your previous guild (if relevant) and why did you leave: K, look, everybody knows I was the main tank for Annihilation (server first guild) for like three years, and last night we downed heroic Vilicus in Crown of Thorns, for about the hundredth time, and the axe finally dropped—the TANKING axe—which is the last piece of 345 gear I’ve been freakin waiting for, for like ever, and so I roll on it and so does the freakin healer. The freakin healer. For his freakin offspec. And I’m like dude wtf and the guild leader is all like, oh yeah, we’re trying to gear him up as a tank. And I’m not a loot whore but I think I should have been AT LEAST INFORMED, y’know.

Anyway, we both rolled, and he won the axe and I lost my shit, and I quit. But it’s not about the axe. I mean it is about the axe, because that was my axe, but it was more than the axe. It’s not like I mind gearing up guildies, but I was the MT, and I’ve been with that guild, every single raid night, for three years. And it was like it meant nothing. They wouldn’t even give me a goddamn axe to make me better at doing the thing they have me around to do.

And then I realised I was losing my shit over an axe. A pixel axe. But seriously the thing never drops. I’ve run heroic CoT since the patch hit, waiting and yearning for that axe, and that’s the first time I’ve ever seen it drop. The ranger bow drops every freakin time. It’s like every ranger in the guild has one to wield and one to stick up his arse. But is there a tanking axe for Ella, is there bollocks.

And that was when I realised I must have stopped having fun in this game a long time ago. Because why else would I be like completely BROKEN over an axe. Enough to throw away three years of raiding. But Annihilation threw me away too. Over the same nothingy axe.

Tell us a bit about your raiding experience: Just look me up on the armoury. Been raiding with Anni since the first expansion.

How did you hear about <Same Crit Different Day>: I’ve seen you guys around and I checked the rankings and you seem to know what you’re doing.

Why do you want to be in this guild: Just looking to have fun in the game again. I guess I want to be more casual, but at the same time I don’t want to waste my time fannying around with a bunch of clueless noobs.

How would we benefit from recruiting you: Best tank on the server. Check my gearscore.

Do you know anyone in the guild: N

What aspects of the game are you most interested in: Raiding, PVP

Do you have a microphone, and are you able to connect to Mumble: Y

Have you read the guild rules and actually thought about them for more than two seconds: Y

Are you going to be racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise bigoted, offensive, or dickish in the name of lulz: N

Anything else you want to tell us? N

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