I didnâ€™t do much reading and reviewing in June. The usual reasons: chronic shoulder pain, stress, anxiety, depression. I was particularly triggered by the #Orlando mass shooting, crying a lot and a little everyday. I didnâ€™t know it would hit me that hard, and I didnâ€™t have anyone to talk to about it. My mood didnâ€™t improve until Iâ€™d cried it all out in therapy later that week. I felt alone in this because I donâ€™t feel real safe expressing my feelings to my parents, so I just donâ€™t. Iâ€™ve been living at home for the past ten years, and though my parents have changed in some ways, have treated me with more tolerance and kindness, and have accepted that I have a disabling mental illness, their values havenâ€™t changed.
It distresses me that my dad, a Filipino immigrant, retired US Navy serviceman, and registered Democrat, will be voting for DJT. In fact, Iâ€™ve heard that some of the older Filipinos in my area are voting for DJT, too. Iâ€™ve been really obsessed with politics, and Iâ€™ve been reading and watching the news a lot, especially on MSNBC. I find it unconscionable that the media lets DJT get away with his hate speech, that even the “liberal” media has given him a megaphone, that the media doesnâ€™t call him out for what he is. Because the fact is DJT is a white supremacist, bigot, xenophobe, and misogynist. It is disturbing and sad how many followers he has.
Anyway, M/M has also been bothering me a lot. I honestly have no fucking clue right now what M/M is all about. Is it romance or erotica? Is it even LGBT? Because there are some women who seem to believe M/M ought to be written a certain way, for female consumption, and not for gay/bi men. Iâ€™m more interested in authentic and empowering representations of historically marginalized groups and people. I would rather read LGBT romance written by, for, and about LGBT people, not to mention POC/WOC romance written by POC/WOC.
Lately, reading and reviewing ARCs hasnâ€™t been fun for me. Itâ€™s been feeling like work and stressing me out. Iâ€™m thinking about quitting ARC reviewing, though I could still host book tours, as long as I donâ€™t overbook them. I want to spend more time on my writing and my mental health blog. Iâ€™m so confused about what Iâ€™m going to do with this blog, and I need to make a decision soon.
â?¤ JUNE 2016 RECAP â?¤